2024 Paris Olympics: Most memorable moments from the wet, wild and weird Opening Ceremony

PARIS — There has never been an Olympic Games that put its host city on display quite like this.

In an unprecedented Opening Ceremony, the 2024 Summer Games kicked off with a wave of pageantry that, well, moseyed its way down the Seine River, incorporating France’s centuries-long history along a strange but oddly endearing four-hour show. It recognized historical figures (Louis XIV, Marie Antoinette, Napoleon), historical art (the Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo), historical places (the Place de la Concorde, Notre Dame, the Louvre) and, of course, French fashion via a runway along a footbridge above the Seine.

All the while, it rained, then poured, and yet the show went on.

Here are some of the most memorable moments (and one major gaffe) from the 2024 Opening Ceremony:

The torch relay: It started with a confused torch bearer entering an empty Stade de France, where a conventional Opening Ceremony would be. But because Paris staged this one along the Seine, it fell to soccer legend Zinedine Zidane to save the day, taking the torch and bringing it south toward the city. From there, things got weird. A metro broke down, some kids took the torch through a window from Zidane, hopped on a dinghy with a Masked Marauder, who suddenly appeared on the Seine but not before passing by an alligator and some skulls …

Lady Gaga singing in French: They had to pass the time somehow with an 85-boat, 3.7-mile athlete procession trolling down the Seine, so enter Gaga. This was the first test of staging a show along a river. Give Gaga credit for mastering the native language in song, with the stunning background of the under-reconstruction Notre Dame.

The torch relay gets weirder: The Masked Marauder took to the roofs of buildings, parkouring his way along the Seine with torch in hand, as he sped through a Louis Vuitton workshop. Of course, Les Miserables had to be a part of the show and, yes, the Masked Marauder repelled onto that stage, too.

Heavy metal at the Opening Ceremony: Strapped to perches outside the Conciergerie, French metal band Gojira played with figures depicting a decapitated Marie Antoinette (holding her own head) surrounding them in open windows. At this point it was clear: this Opening Ceremony was going to touch all the French bases.

The show must go on: Organizers have been planning this spectacle for six years, only for Mother Nature to rain on their parade … literally. But the show went on anyway, with French pop star Aya Nakamura singing as the skies opened up. Yeah, the weather stunk, but no one seemed to mind.

The torch relay goes to the Louvre: Well, he made it to the Louvre, passing by the Winged Victory of Samothrace and the Venus de Milo. Then Night at the Museum Part 4 broke out, with images in paintings coming to life. At this point, everything is on the table.

The parade of nations continues: While all this was going on, boat after boat carrying the more than 6,800 athletes continued down the Seine. Nary an athlete had a frown on their face despite the driving rain. But one had to wonder: Who’s going to be the athlete to catch a cold at a most inopportune time?

Uhh, ooh, there’s been a robbery: Where did the Mona Lisa go? Back in the Louvre, the Masked Marauder discovers an open hole in front of an empty wall where the world’s most famous painting should be. What? (All this while Alexandre Kantorow played piano in a downpour.)

The Minions join the show on a submarine … wait, what?: Was it a commercial? Was it part of the show? Whatever it was, we found the perpetrators of the Mona Lisa heist. It was them! But of course, because they’re bumbling idiots, albeit funny ones, they flooded the submarine they were in and there it was … the Mona Lisa floating to the top of the river, ruined for sure, right?

Sport on the Seine: Breaking and BMX biking on a river? The Olympics so wants to be the X Games.

Peyton Manning’s play card: Why was a retired quarterback on NBC’s coverage? Who knows, but of course he came prepared with a wristband full of “plays.” Oh, that Peyton Manning. At least they didn’t pair him with another random like, say, a former American Idol winner, right?

Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show on the Seine: If only Right Said Fred were French. Alas, we’ll settle for Barbara Butch spinning the 1s and 2s while models showed off clothes no one (well, aside from Gaga) will ever wear again.

Where’s the shirtless Tongan? Alas, Pita Taufatofua, who rose to fame during the 2016 Opening Ceremony showing off his oiled-up pecs, is not competing in these Games. He’d made his way to the 2018 Winter Olympics as a freestyle skier and the 2020 Games in his more traditional Taekwondo. But at 40, he’s now retired from Olympic competition.

Here come the Americans: With LeBron James and Coco Gauff standing at the front of the boat like Leo and Kate on the Titanic, the USA crew crowded onto a single boat in the pouring rain.

Wait, he’s back: The Masked Marauder cuts in to make his way to the fashion catwalk to strut his stuff, only to be interrupted by the surfing delegation nearly 10,000 miles away in Tahiti. How rude, dude.

And finally, France: With rain coming down as hard as it had all night, the 571-athlete French delegation pulled up the rear. French flags waved everywhere, on and off the boat, as the Eiffel Tower began its nightly twinkle.

Imagine (with a flaming piano): The Eiffel Tower goes dark as Juliette Armanet sang John Lennon’s iconic “Imagine” while floating down the Seine.

“Frozen 3” debuts: A silver horse rode along the Seine, ridden by not Elsa wearing an Olympic flag as a cape. Not sure what that was all about, but hey, at least it wasn’t the Masked Marauder.

Time to raise the flag … upside down: Russia had the single Olympic ring that wouldn’t light up … Paris now has the raising of the Olympic flag … upside down. Someone’s glad this didn’t happen in Sochi.

Where did the Masked Marauder go? When the torch finally made its way to the Trocadero, Zidane — not the Marauder — was back with it in hand. Disappointing? Maybe, but then Zidane passed it to noted Frenchman Rafael Nadal, totally redeeming the relay.

Eiffel Tower turns into a light show: Now this is what everyone was waiting for, the Eiffel Tower turning into a 1,083-foot-high laser beam lighting up the Paris sky.

Hold on, Rafael Nadal isn’t French? Well, he did win the French Open 14 times, but then he boarded a boat along with Carl Lewis (American), Serena Williams (American) and Nadia Comaneci (Romanian). The celebration of France suddenly went global.

Pérec and Riner light the cauldron: Paris organizers had tried to keep the lighting of the cauldron a secret, but that’s kind of hard to do when the cauldron is actually a balloon in the middle of a garden next to the most famous museum in the world. So it sort of got out months ago that the torch relay would finish at the Tuileries … which it did. There, Marie-José Pérec and Teddy Riner — gold medalists in track and judo, respectively — lit a 30-meter tall balloon in a celebration of the first-ever human-carrying hot-air balloon flight that landed in the Tuileries way back in 1783.

And finally, Celine: Love her, loathe her, but Celine Dion can sing. She may be Canadian, but French is her native tongue, and well, she brought down the city with her rendition of “Hymne à l’amour.”