Driving to Europe this summer? The Newcastle ferry is the only way to go

I am no fan of long-distance driving. The thought of zooming along congested motorways for hour after hour amid endless convoys of thundering trucks fills me with dread. Throw in heavy rain and the nightmare is complete. A day outing to the Clyde coast or the Trossachs is more my cup of tea.

Which is a problem if, like me, you suddenly have cause — in my case a car that needed collecting in the south of France — to drive back to Scotland from the Continent. With the Channel ports in chaos last summer, even worse delays anticipated once the new biometric border controls take effect in October, and no passenger ferries from Scotland to Europe — the Rosyth to Zeebrugge service died in 2010 — the prospect of the long drive home via Calais and Dover customs was not one I welcomed.

And then I stumbled on plan B: the overnight DFDS ferry between Amsterdam and Newcastle. It would cut a good five hours off the time at the wheel, save at least £100 in petrol costs, entirely bypass any border shenanigans at Dover — and I could board in time for dinner, decant fresh and relaxed after breakfast in Newcastle, with a good night’s sleep in my cabin in between.

I arrive in the port of IJmuiden in the outskirts of Amsterdam, where I am through check-in and border controls in barely five minutes. IJmuiden is relatively tiny, a maritime David to Dover’s Goliath, with Rotterdam the port for seaborne freight and Amsterdam the dock used by cruise ships. In fact, DFDS ferries are the only big vessels berthed at IJmuiden. Instead of waiting in long quayside queues I am ushered immediately into a cavernous car deck.

As a guest of DFDS I have been assigned an interior cabin due to late booking, which is fine with me because I’ll be in it for a few hours to sleep, not to stare out at a black night. It is compact and cosy with a small double bed, a shower and WC, which is all I need.

MS Princess Seaways is a spacious vessel — accommodating 600 cars and 1,250 passengers — that thinks it is a cruise ship. Its facilities include buffet and à la carte restaurants, a bistro and a Starbucks, various bars and lounges, a nightclub and a casino. It also has two cinemas and a children’s play area, a shop like a mini department store with a wide range of duty-free goods and quality clothing, and not forgetting a VIP (Very Important Pet) hotel.

This is not a booze cruise with boisterous crowds besieging the bars. The passengers are mostly families on holiday and the atmosphere is lively but relaxed. Dutch and Geordie accents predominate, and I am surprised not to hear a single Scottish accent during the crossing.

The cabin was compact and cosy with a small double bed, a shower and WC

DFDS

There is plenty of space to move around and find quiet corners and no shortage of helpful staff, meaning there are no long queues for anything. Compared with the rush and bustle of some cross-Channel ferries, this is as calm as it gets.

I am tempted by the latest Indiana Jones escapade in one of the cinemas, but it coincides with my allotted dinner time, so I opt for a beer and a bag of crisps in the Navigators Pub before wandering into the Explorers Kitchen.

A pleasant surprise awaits in a fine international buffet with attentive staff. Instead of the usual lukewarm, unimaginative fare there is a huge choice of exotic as well as classic dishes, ranging from Moroccan chicken tagine and Greek meatballs in tomato sauce to Spanish paella. I opt for a starter of smoked salmon, tuna and spinach roulade and herb mussels, followed by culinary home comfort in a lamb shepherd’s pie with a glass of palatable ship’s red wine. The fruit tart with strawberry and melon that follows is exquisite.

The nightclub is filling up after dinner with live guitar music, but tiredness is creeping over me, and I retire with a cup of Earl Grey in the familiar company of Inspector John Rebus doggedly tracking a killer (Tooth & Nail). The barely perceptible throb of the engines deep in the bowels of the ship is soporific and sends me drifting off into deep sleep.

Breakfast picks up where dinner left off with a sumptuous spread, and soon we are cruising into the mouth of the Tyne. It has been a smooth crossing on a quiet sea and our much-loved 1991 BMW convertible, which we’ve christened Bluebell, fairly bounds off the boat, happy to be nearly home. Me too.
Gavin Bell was a guest of DFDS (dfds.com). Crossings between Newcastle and IJmuiden cost from £49pp for a car and four-berth cabin