‘I want them to suffer:’ How Emma Hayes, an ultramarathoner and ‘pain caves’ inspired USWNT to Olympic final

LYON, France — On Day 12 of the Olympic soccer slog, in City No. 4, ahead of Victory No. 5, U.S. women’s national team head coach Emma Hayes dug deep into her bag of eccentric tricks for a lesson on “pain caves.”

She convened the USWNT two days after a 120-minute quarterfinal grind, and one day before a semifinal. She knew her players were sore, weary, drained.

So she queued up a video that had nothing to do with soccer. She introduced them to Courtney Dauwalter, an ultramarathoner. She did this because their semifinal against Germany, like an ultramarathon, would not be about tactics or even about physical superiority. “It’s here,” Hayes said, pointing to her temple; “and here,” she said, this time pointing to her chest.

In the video, Dauwalter talked about constructing “pain caves” in her mind. It’s a concept she has detailed repeatedly over the years en route to the top of ultrarunning. It’s “that point where you physically can’t keep going,” she said in one interview — a point Hayes knew the USWNT would reach Tuesday, whether winning, losing or tied.

“That’s when your mind takes over,” Dauwalter said. “And you dig in with your brain to help your body keep going. My goal is to get to the pain cave and go in and make it bigger, with hopes that every time I make it bigger, I can reach a little farther into myself next time.”

That, Hayes said, was the crux of the USWNT’s 1-0 win over Germany here at Groupama Stadium.

There are times, Hayes told her players, when Dauwalter goes temporarily blind during a race — and keeps going.

“[If] she can do that, more than 100 miles in 26 hours, we can dig deep in here,” Hayes said.

They could, alternatively, complain about their schedule; about the Olympic soccer format; or about roster sizes (18 players instead of the standard 23). They could complain about travel (from Nice to Marseille to Paris to Lyon to Paris) or about sweltering temperatures. “People don’t really quite know how hot it is down there, how tired our legs are after playing 120 minutes and 120 minutes,” forward Sophia Smith said.

They could also complain, as many fans have, about their coach’s reluctance to make subs or freshen up her lineups. Hayes has more or less stuck with a preferred starting 11 and run it into the ground. Many of the 11 have tired, and suffered, and lagged.

And that’s the point.

It was the theme of a grueling, fatigue-sapped semifinal.

“I don’t want them to be better,” Hayes said in a gregarious post-match interview. “Truthfully. I want them to suffer. And I thought we suffered a hell of a lot today. And — good.”

She wanted them to suffer, together, on an Olympic stage, because she is building. She has been in charge of the USWNT for only 72 days. She has hardly rotated her lineup in part because she wants her primary players to build chemistry and a collective will in heated, high-stakes battles.

“I want them to develop that,” Hayes said. “I want them to suffer. I want them to have that moment. ’Cause I do not believe you can win without it. And I haven’t had long enough with this group to get that yet. And I want to see who they are when it’s hard.”

So she threw them — Smith and Mallory Swanson, Rose Lavelle and Trinity Rodman — into a showdown with Germany three days after a 120-minute showdown with Japan.

They played dynamic soccer for about 15 minutes, and then … “there’s a lot of work to do,” Hayes admitted. “That’s how I felt during the game.”

But, she later added, “all I kept thinking, as the game was getting harder: Dig harder! Suffer for a little bit longer!”

That is what they did as the game groaned on. That is what Smith did in the 95th minute. She out-hustled German defender Feli Rauch, and latched onto a through ball she had no business reaching. She scored the game’s only goal, and smiled, and screamed, and then fell to the ground. “F***,” her exhausted mind thought, “we still have to play so much longer.”

So, she kept playing. Digging.

That is exactly what Hayes had urged the players to do. And this, more than any tactical tweak, represents her brilliance as a manager. She has not turned around the USWNT overnight by teaching new techniques or changing formations. She is the world’s highest-paid women’s soccer coach because she’s a psychological savant, a human who has mastered the art of managing fellow humans.

“We’re a different team since she came in,” Smith said — and the rest of her effusive answer about her coach had little to do with soccer. “She’s so hilarious, and chill, and funny. And I feel like that’s exactly what we needed.”

Hayes is legendary for blending humor with hardness. She challenges players, often with flagrant language, but she also encourages them and allows them to be their authentic selves. “I’m not someone who, like, carries pressure around the place,” Hayes said. “I enjoy the girls’ company. We’ve been building a really psychologically safe space for us all.”

And, at times, the psychologist can be unconventional. Ahead of a Champions League semifinal at Chelsea, she showed players a video of a UFC fighter repeating to herself, “I’m the best,” before a fight. She has brought in Holocaust survivors to meet with players. She has spoken about geese. She has referenced conceptual artist Cildo Meireles’ Babel tower. After she shoved Arsenal coach Jonas Eidevall this past March, in response to the controversy that followed, she recited the last four lines of a Robert Frost poem.

So, here she was in Lyon on Monday, tapping into the teachings of Dauwalter, a 39-year-old trail-running GOAT.

And here, 24 hours later, were her players, digging.

Now, they are on to Saturday’s final, back to Paris, where they’ll meet Brazil. They’ll have one additional day between games — but still only three compared to two. So they will dig, for 90 minutes more, or perhaps another 120, this time for a gold medal.

“It’s hard,” Smith said. “But it’s so worth it.