After 16 years together, my partner dumped me when I put on three stone

Erin*, 32, was devastated when Jason*, 33, told her he was ending their 16-year relationship because she’d gained weight.

Jason and I met in primary school. He was my first everything – my first kiss, my first lover, my first love and now, my first heartbreak. Although we’d grown up together in the same small town, with the same group of friends and known each other our whole lives, we didn’t start paying attention to each other until middle school.

Funnily enough, we first kissed at a friend’s 11th birthday, then we started dating when I was 16 and soon became inseparable.

We moved in together on my 18th birthday and 10 years later, bought our first home together. Although we had many conversations about getting married, both of us are children from broken marriages, and we collectively made the decision that marriage wasn’t for us.

Our relationship had its difficult moments, but loving Jason was easy. He was one of the most thoughtful people I had ever met, and to me, he felt like home. And when I started gaining weight and was self-conscious about it, Jason always reassured me that I had nothing to be insecure about.

For the last two years of our relationship, our sex life dwindled to barely nothing, but he always reassured me that it was because he was just tired or not in the mood. That’s why I was so shocked at the way he ended things.

Harsh words

That night was the worst night of my life. I had barely walked through the door when he told me that he wanted to end things. “You’ve let yourself go and I’m just not attracted to you anymore. You don’t look anything like the person I fell in love with,” he said stoically.

The break up wasn’t even a discussion. I gave up after two hours of me pleading for us to make it work. Jason had made up his mind and there was no changing it. We ended the night cuddling on the couch, telling each other how we wished things could be different. Jason apologised and promised me it was for the best before he packed an overnight bag and left.

We broke up the night before I left for a week-long work trip and by the time I came back, all of Jason’s stuff had been moved out of the house. He’d left all the furniture and most of the things we bought together, but it still felt so empty.

Obsessed with my weight

For the weeks following our breakup, I was filled with anxiety and barely ate. And when I did, I would binge on fast food and pastries. I wasn’t taking care of myself in the slightest. I became completely obsessed with my weight and thought that if I went back to my ‘original’ weight, Jason and I would get back together and everything would go back to the way it was before.

My friends and family tried to intervene, but I needed to come to the realisation on my own that my response to the breakup wasn’t healthy.

It’s now been seven months since we split and after signing up to therapy and personal training, I’ve lost two stone. I’m still working on my relationship with food but already feel healthier physically and emotionally, and the most important part is that I’m doing it for myself.

New independence

I’ve learned a lot about myself through therapy and for the first time in my adult life, am learning to do things on my own. Jason and I are now on good terms and I’m at peace with the breakup.

We met for the first time last month and discussed the possibility of trying again, but I don’t think it’s the right time, and I’m not sure it ever will be. I’m not sure what my future will look like but it was cruel of Jason to end a 16-year relationship because of my weight, and I know ‘my person’ wouldn’t be so shallow.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Read more: All of Yahoo UK’s How I was dumped stories.