Asked & Answered, Week 6: Is it possible to get a worse birthday present for Jerry Jones?

Every week in the NFL season brings a host of new questions … and answers some old ones, too. Let’s run down what we learned in Week 6 … and what we’ll be wondering about in Week 7 and beyond.

ASKED: Is it possible to get a worse birthday present for Jerry Jones?

What do you get a football plutocrat for his 82nd birthday? Well, if you’re the Dallas Cowboys, you scoop up a big steaming pile of dog crap, stick it in an old pizza box, wrap it in a silver-and-blue ribbon, and throw it right at his front door. That’s exactly what the Cowboys did for Jerry Jones on Sunday, losing to the Detroit Lions in a 47-9 debacle that somehow wasn’t even that close.

The Cowboys have the highest-paid player and the broadest, most engaged fan base in the league, and they’re still not able to put a respectable product on the field week in and week out, year in and year out. Half the league literally can’t have a memory of the Cowboys’ last Super Bowl win, because it happened before they were born.

Before we go too far down the road of “look how those terrible Cowboys treated poor ol’ Jerruh!”, well — who hired these guys? Who signs their checks? Jones has for years now insisted he’s in “win now” mode, and yet it’s clear the people in the building aren’t winning now. Jones doesn’t have the patience for a total rebuild, and with the money he could spend, he shouldn’t. Problem is, pointing fingers is easy; making the necessary changes is very, very hard. The reasons for Dallas’ problems are many and varied, but it all starts with Jones — and it’s ending there, too.

Put another way: When even the Detroit Lions are clowning you, it’s time to rethink your entire worldview.

ANSWERED: Welp, so much for the Saints

Hey, remember all the way back in Week 2, when everyone — including, well, us — was saying that the Saints’ Klint Kubiak-led offense was revolutionizing the game and a surefire bet to go deep into January? Yeah, that was a fun week, wasn’t it?

Turns out that in any given week in the NFL, everybody can overachieve. The Saints started rookie Spencer Rattler on Sunday and lost star receiver Chris Olave on his very first reception, but that’s not enough to excuse the utter thrashing — 51-27 — that the Bucs dealt out to New Orleans on Sunday. The Saints could manage to score only in the second quarter, and couldn’t stop Tampa Bay. When you give up runs of 17 and 27 straight points, something is most definitely off.

Between the Bucs and Falcons in their own division, and the four-headed beast that is the NFC North, there’s not much room in the postseason right now for New Orleans. Ah, well. It was nice for the Saints to dream for a week.

ASKED: How far can the Packers go?

I feel like we’re going to spend the entire season discussing the monster that is the NFC North, the most successful top-to-bottom division at this point in the season in decades. Detroit, Minnesota, Chicago, Green Bay — would you want to play any of these teams right now? Rationalizations to downgrade the division — Minnesota is smoke-and-mirrors, the league’s going to figure out Caleb Wiliams, Detroit gonna Detroit — are just that.

Even so, the best bet for the division crown right now feels like the Packers, thanks to the combination of a healed Jordan Love, a deep and young roster, and a strong coaching/front-office infrastructure. Nearly tripling up the chippy Cardinals on Sunday is another achievement in what’s shaping up to be a season of them. We’re already looking ahead to Week 9, when the Lions go to Green Bay. That’ll be fun.

ANSWERED: The Titans are screwed

Ever been in a breakup and seen your ex immediately go on to an objectively better life? Kind of sucks, doesn’t it? That’s what Tennessee is suffering right now, watching Derrick Henry thriving in Baltimore while the Titans are flailing through a 1-4 start to the season. Tennessee’s only win is against the Tua-less Dolphins two weeks ago, and there’s little sign this team could compete in the SEC, much less the AFC South. In Sunday’s loss to Indianapolis, Will Levis threw for 95 yards — no, there’s no missing digit at the front of that number — and the only slightly bright spot in the offense was Tony Pollard, who ran for 93 yards and a touchdown. Calvin Ridley griped about not getting balls thrown his way, but he might be taking the wrong approach here; if you don’t show up in the box score, you can just deny you were ever associated with this trash fire.

ASKED: Is there any worse feeling than a touchdown negated by a flag?

In the midst of Sunday’s beatdown, the Lions decided to get fancy and ran a lateral to tackle Penei Sewell. How often does a tackle get a chance to score a touchdown? Almost never! And yet, look here:

Alas, the touchdown (or near-touchdown, his knee was probably down) was called back because of an ineligible man “downfield” — as in, more than a yard past the line of scrimmage. The flag wipes the touchdown off the board.

This wasn’t unique to this week, of course. Every week, you’ll see magnificent long pass plays or spectacular touchdowns nullified by the ticky-tackiest of rules — a holding call far away from the action, an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for a bit of jawing.

The rules are the rules, of course; sometimes that hold is consequential to breaking open the play, for instance. But when the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, well, it’s aesthetically displeasing. Though I do love when cameras stay focused on the player who, for example, just busted a 75-yard touchdown run only to see it called back when a beefy teammate swats at an uninvolved defender 75 yards away. Keeping true feelings in check at those moments requires Oscar-level acting.

Just one more reason why the NFL should adopt my “yes, it was illegal, but it looked cool, so we’ll allow it” provision to override a flag.

ANSWERED: Washington shows there is life after bad ownership

The Washington football franchise spent a quarter-century in ownership hell, fans and players alike suffering under the capricious, arrogant regime of Daniel Snyder that placed blame for its generational failures everywhere but where it truly belonged. Snyder is out the door now, and wouldn’t you know it, Washington is all of a sudden a resurgent franchise.

Granted, there’s a long way to go for Washington to get back to the perennial-contender days of Joe Gibbs, John Riggins and the Hogs, but this franchise has already come a long way in just a handful of post-Snyder games. The loss Sunday to Baltimore in the I-95 Bowl was tough but not unexpected given Baltimore’s talent, and Washington put in a better effort this year than they would have at any other point in the 2000s. There’s legit excitement about this franchise, and nobody in burgundy is wondering how ownership will embarrass them next.

See, Carolina? There’s hope for you yet.

ASKED: Are the Bengals a good team in a bad run, or a bad team with occasional good moments?

Here’s what we observed in Sunday night’s Bengals-Giants game — a Cincinnati team that was talented and opportunistic, taking advantage of its opponent’s miscues to salt away the game … and also a team that couldn’t shake the damn New York Giants until the final two minutes of the game. The Bengals are 2-4, yet seem like they ought to be so much better than that. When you have a QB-receiver combo that can do this:

… you ought to be winning more than just two games through the first third of the season. The Bengals have a pulse, but they wouldn’t had they let Sunday night’s game slip away. That’s the razor’s edge they’ll be walking for weeks to come.

ANSWERED: The Jaguars should just change their name and stay in Europe

Jacksonville is in the midst of a back-to-back London run that started with a miserable loss to Chicago on Sunday and wraps with a fierce pillow fight against New England next week. It’s even odds on whether team owner Shad Khan even bothers to send a plane to bring them back to America after that. Suggestion for the Jags — get ahead of the curve. Go full Cold War spy — get a fake passport, change your name, disappear into Europe and let the world forget you ever existed. It’ll be easier for everyone that way.