Ex-USC star Anna Cockrell overcomes mental hurdles to take silver in, yes, Olympic hurdles

Sometimes a silver medal is but a silver lining, a small consolation for an Olympic athlete who failed to achieve their goal of gold or bust.

Other times, though, silver can be proof of internal precious metal, a just reward for an unflinching athlete not expected to ascend the podium because their journey was pocked by ceaseless obstacles.

We’d say hurdles, but Anna Cockrell cleared those just fine.

The former USC standout student (first) and hurdler (second) finished a surprising second Thursday in the women’s 400-meter hurdles at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Saint-Denis, France, trailing only U.S. teammate and favorite Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone, who set the world record en route to gold.

Shortly after the race, Cockrell, whose USC commencement speech in 2019 went viral for its jagged honesty in addressing her challenges with depression, could hardly muster the words to describe the emotional buoyancy she was experiencing.

“Y’all know I’m a yapper,” she said, “[but] I’m very much speechless right now. I’m a little bit in shock, I don’t know if it’s from the joy or the exhaustion. It took a lot to get here and I’m excited to have put it all together.”

Read more: Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone sets world record, repeats as Olympic 400-meter hurdle champion

Cockrell had described her battle with depression during the commencement speech after she graduated in three years with a 3.98 grade-point average and in 2021 in a Players’ Tribune “Letter to My Younger Self” article ahead of the Tokyo Olympics.

“I’ve battled depression on and off since 10th grade,” Cockrell said during the commencement speech. “I am a perfectionist … and this year, the quest for perfection, the quest to maintain this box that I built for myself, the quest to maintain this image of the perfect scholar, the perfect student-athlete, the perfect leader, it began to crush me.”

Days after the USC graduation, however, Cockrell dropped the baton in the 4×400 NCAA finals, costing USC a shot at a third consecutive championship, leading to more depression and personal dysfunction.

The NCAA championships were canceled the next year because of COVID, but in 2021 she led USC to the team title by winning the 100- and 400-meter hurdles. She thanked family, teammates and coaches, but didn’t leave out mental health professionals.

“I’m really lucky, really blessed to have access to care,” Cockrell said. “I’m really thankful for all the psychologists and therapists that have worked with me over the years because there was a time I would say I had fallen into despair and hopelessness and I didn’t think this was possible. But from 2019 until now I’ve put in a lot of work off the track in a therapist’s office.”

Read more: Opinion: Have the 2024 Olympics really changed the game for women in sports?

Her first-person Players’ Tribune article laid bare her struggles, while faintly hoping they were behind her. An excerpt:

This year, 2018–19, has already been the hardest year of your life. You went through so much and trained so hard for this moment. Just a couple months ago you wanted to quit track, quit school, quit everything. It got really dark. To be honest, it got to the point where you didn’t even want to be alive anymore.

And just when you thought life was getting better, you dropped the freaking baton.

I know you’re thinking it, so I’ll just say it.

What was it all for?

…. Now, I’m in Tokyo preparing to compete in my first Olympic Games. No matter what happens out here, I am important, I am worthy, I am valued and I matter.

So what happened? More adversity. Cockrell was disqualified from the 400-meter hurdles final at the Tokyo Olympics for running into the wrong lane.

Three years later, who could blame onlookers for expecting another calamity from the now 26-year-old Cockrell, writing her off before Thursday’s race had begun? But she outlasted Femke Bol of the Netherlands to take silver.

“I don’t know if I can put what it felt like into words,” she said. “I was just in flow, I felt really good and I was just going. Just thinking about getting over those hurdles, lifting my knees, being as clean as possible.

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“You know how hard I’ve been fighting for this moment right here. I’m an emotional person, I’m not afraid to be emotional, I just went for it today. It was just instinct and believing in my training.”

Then Cockrell lauded McLaughlin-Levrone, the world record holder and back-to-back Olympic gold medal winner in the 400 hurdles.

And McLaughlin-Levrone lauded Cockrell back, saying: “I’m super happy for Anna, that’s a huge deal for her and to come out with a silver medal is amazing for the USA.”

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This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.