I played Troon’s famous Postage Stamp – here is what not to do

“It’s 123 yards tee to green but it’s probably only playing about 90 with the wind,” advised my caddie, Brian, as we approached the 8th tee at Troon on a blustery day in April.

Ninety yards? Those unfamiliar with Royal Troon’s 8th hole – aka the Postage Stamp, the shortest hole on the Open rota – would no doubt scoff at its fearsome reputation. How hard can it be to land a ball onto a putting area, however small, from that paltry distance?

Quite hard as it happens, particularly when the wind blows, which it is liable to do in these parts. Just ask Tiger Woods, who was in contention for the 1997 Open after shooting a 64 on the Saturday, only to take a six on a hole locals also refer to as ‘Wee Beastie’. Or any number of other unfortunate souls down the years.

The hole is officially named Ailsa because there is a perfect view of the rocky islet of that name from the slightly elevated tee, but universally known by its nickname after a 1923 Golf Illustrated article described its green set into the side of a sandhill as “a pitching surface skimmed down to the size of a Postage Stamp”.

In 1950, German amateur Hermann Tissies racked up a scarcely believable 15 at the Postage Stamp, taking five shots to get out of one of the bunkers guarding the green before, as is the way of things when you are taking 15 at a hole, finishing with a three-putt.

Would I be more Tissies or Gene Sarazen, I wondered, as I lined up my tee shot, the wind whipping over my left shoulder – unusually for Troon, the prevailing wind is normally behind you on the front nine, with the 8th the only hole facing back into it.

Sarazen famously aced the Postage Stamp on his penultimate Open appearance in 1973, at the age of 71. And the American great is far from the only player to have struck a hole-in-one there.

Because that is the thing about the Postage Stamp – on any given day it can play host to the sublime and the ridiculous.

Find the putting surface and you could well walk off with a birdie. Miss it and you are in a world of pain. The five sand traps include one deep, rectangular one guarding the left edge which is rather menacingly known as ‘The Coffin’ – “Because you’re dead if you go in there,” explained Brian, helpfully.

This year the Postage Stamp could be even more spectacular, with the R&A issuing a note back in April advising that it might play as short as 99 yards during one of the rounds, weather permitting. That would make it the shortest hole ever in a British major.

A front pin and a forward teeing area with a stiff cross-breeze would give it an even more intimate feel for the 1,500 spectators crammed into the L-shaped grandstand which has been erected.

So, how did I get on? Reader, I was more Tissies than Sarazen.

With Brian’s final words of advice ringing in my ears – “Aim slightly left towards the Coffin and it should drift back in” – I forced my hands left, turning the ball even further left, finding the slope between the two left-hand side bunkers and rolling down and away from the green into rough.

From there, things only got worse. I hit what felt like a decent blind chip over the brow. But when I clambered up to see where my ball had landed I found it had rolled off the other side of the green, to the right of the hole.

Fortunately, I had narrowly avoided the bunker from which Rory McIlroy once took six shots to escape during a practice round in 2016. Unfortunately, I duffed my next chip, so paranoid was I about the possibility of getting into a game of back-and-forth volleyball. The ball barely held the green.

From there, channelling Tissies, I three-putted, eventually shuffling off with a 6, suitably chastened but very much looking forward to watching the pros try to tame Wee Beastie in July.

How to play the Postage Stamp

Bees sting bears. That is a fact the giants of this sport should keep in mind at the 152nd Open Championship as they make their way to the par-three eighth at Royal Troon and take their lick at The Postage Stamp.

“It’s a dream-wrecker, a card-wrecker, an Open-wrecker and it is magnificent,” says Colin Montgomerie, the Ayrshire town’s most famous golfing son. The evidence is written throughout its history. In 2016, the field played the hole over par on all four days, with the weekend rounds yielding 32 bogeys and six double-bogeys against 23 birdies.

In 1997, Tiger Woods called the challenge “simple enough”. “Hit green – good,” Woods said. “Miss green – bad.”

Montgomerie believes there is rather more to it than that. Indeed, a test that is so defined by the wind can be seen as being the result of a perfect golfing storm.

“For starters, there is where it falls in the Troon examination,” Montgomerie said. “It is the first hole back into the prevailing wind. For the first seven holes are downwind. So the ball position, the way you hit the ball, the way you’re thinking, the way the wind is reacting, everything is to do with downwind shots.

“But then suddenly, ‘bingo!’ Everything has changed from the previous 90 minutes. So what do you do now? Put the ball back in the stance, changing the way you come through the ball, you’re trying to hit the ball down. The feeling is very different. So you tug it left or push it right. That’s the first mistake you make.”

Then there is the visual itself. “You’re on an elevated tee and you are looking down at this narrow strip of green. God, it’s narrow,” Montgomerie says. “And you’re telling yourself, ‘come on, it’s 120 yards, you’re a professional, all these people are watching and this is a mere flick’. But the more you look, the bigger those bunkers get and that’s the problem. Because this is not a case of ‘so what, just get up and down from a bunker’. Crikey, anything but.”

The traps on the right are difficult enough – “from there you’ll see bunker shots fly over the green into another bunker,” Montgomerie said – but on the left is ‘The Coffin Bunker’.

“Why do you think they call it that?” he added. “Not because it’s a bloody nice place to come to rest, I can assure you. I’ve played it recently and they have deepened The Coffin and even if it’s just 18 inches, it makes a big difference. You are looking at five instead of two, even more now.

“It’s a mental thing and a technical thing and they’ve added stands this time that make it look more encased and increase that feeling of tightness. It’s a little beauty, but it can and will be cruel if you don’t execute. The Postage Stamp is one of the great par threes if not the best and is a prime example of why this sport should not just be all about length.”

As if to emphasise this point, two holes before is the sixth, which at 623 yards is the longest hole in Open history.

“How about that? You might see the same guy coming off a 623-yarder happy with a four and then 20 minutes later see him coming off a 99-yarder also happy with a four after where his tee-shot finished up,” Montgomerie said. “It’s a unique juxtaposition and Troon is like that. But they’ve pushed the tee back and it is a shame in my book that, because of how far the ball travels they have to keep extending these classic courses.

“And for what? It’s 623 yards, but if the big boys drive it straight downwind on a firm fairway, they could have a mid-iron to the green. I’m glad the R&A and USGA have finally decided to do something about the ball and curtail the distance, even if it is 25 years too late. And of course, it is impressive watching these athletes launch the damn thing that far and the fans on the sixth will enjoy the spectacle. But if I had to base myself anywhere for the day there’d only be one hole. The Postage Stamp. First class.”

Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 3 months with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.