Naomi Osaka: I no longer feel like I’m in my own body – that scares me

Naomi Osaka says she feels “scared” after feeling like she is not in her own body following her return to tennis from maternity leave.

Osaka, a former world No 1, returned to tennis in January following the birth of her daughter Shai in July 2023 but has struggled to get past the third round in any grand slam.

The Japanese said that her issue was not the recent loss to Ashlyn Krueger in qualifying for the Cincinnati Open but a wider “strange” feeling that her body was not behaving as it should which had left her screaming internally.

“My biggest issue currently isn’t losses though, my biggest issue is that I don’t feel like I’m in my body,” Osaka, 26, said on Instagram.

“It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to. I try to tell myself, ‘It’s fine you’re doing great. Just get through this one and keep pushing.’ Mentally it’s really draining through.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve played a handful of matches this year that I felt like I was myself and I know this moment is probably just a small phase from all the new transitions [clay, grass, clay, hard], however the only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being post-partum,” she said.

“That scares me because I’ve been playing tennis since I was three, the racket should feel like an extension of my hand.”

Osaka goes on to expand on this dislocating feeling before concluding with a promise to “work as hard as [she] can and give it [her] best shot”, both for herself and for her daughter.

This admission is particularly poignant in the wake of the Paris Olympics which featured more mothers than ever before – nine from Team GB – showing the world that motherhood can coexist with elite sport.

While Osaka is back playing tennis and cites a “handful” of matches that she has felt like herself since giving birth, her post suggests that there may still be work to be done in recognising the difficulties of returning to elite sport postpartum.

At the very least, Osaka has opened the conversation wider, with many women in the comments section thanking her for sharing her story. Among those is fellow professional tennis player Caroline Garcia who has recently hosted Osaka on her podcast Tennis Insider Club, speaking openly about tennis and motherhood.

At the end of the statement, Osaka gives assurances that she will be in New York for the US Open which begins on August 26, with the women’s singles final scheduled for September 7.                                                                        

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