Scotland’s mighty mannschaft fails to measure up as Hotline concerned

The latest Irn Bru ad has caused a stir with talk of Scotland’s “strong and mighty mannschaft”.

But it seems the Tartan Army are a little concerned by the national team’s shortcomings after seeing Steve Clarke’s side measure up to a meagre 2-0 win over Gibraltar. Scott Gowers, Edinburgh, said: “Scotland may have beaten Gibraltar but if they perform in the same manner at the Euros then we’ll have an early exit again. This win may be a win but it also shows us how pathetic Steve Clarke’s Scotland really are. For players wanting to win a place at the Euro’s they have not exactly put their best foot forward.”

Drew Ferguson, Oban, shared that mood of pessimism as he rang to say: “Please dampen the hype with this Scotland squad at the Euros as this team is bang average with a significant lack of quality in defence and up front. They will be lucky to get one point in Germany.” John Thomson, East Kilbride, added: “To stop any unnecessary embarrassment for our nation, Scotland need to excuse themselves from the Euros after the abysmal performance against mighty Gibraltar.

“If we can’t convert chances against a team like them then we have absolutely no chance of scoring against teams like Germany, Hungary and Switzerland. We had roughly five shots on goal, scoring two. Against quality sides we will be lucky to get two shots at goal therefore we need to convert every chance. Instead of playing the safe option of one out and out forward making it easy for opposition defences to mark, why not change our usual tactics and play two up front and give our opponents something different to deal with from us?”

Goals from Ryan Christie and Che Adams eventually gave Scotland the win in Faro after a goalless first half. But Neil Renton, Leith, asked: “Anyone know what has happened to The Best Striker In The World in the form of Lawrence Shankland? He’s been terrible for Scotland and he’s so far out of his depth it’s scary. Playing for a mediocre Hearts team is clearly his level.”

And Dr Robert Pender said: “After watching the Scotland game, my message to Rangers is forget Lawrence Shankland. He will never be a Rangers striker. He’s slow, with a heavy rear end and is simply overrated.”

Back to domestic squabbles, with Mark Smith, Cumbernauld, calling to say: “Hotline regular Gordon Ashley – conspicuous by his absence when Rangers had a chance winning the league – is now a permanent fixture since Celtic’s win. He seems infatuated about a ‘shared’ trophy but here’s a wee reminder Gordon, at least Rangers didn’t have a manufactured league win from a zoom call meeting!”

George Wilson, West Sussex, added: “Week after week we get the same rubbish from Gordon Ashley referring to Rangers’ shared league title and how many billions of pounds Celtic have in the bank. This shared reference is to Rangers sharing the league title in 1891 with Dumbarton, which I believe was the same year Celtic last won a game in Europe. And they will do their usual of keeping all their billions in the bank and be out of Europe by October while Rangers once again fly the flag for Scotland in Europe.”

Talking of the Ibrox naysayer from Ayr, Mr Ashley was back on the blower to say: “The English are really winding me up in the build up to these Euros. The contempt that they have shown Scottish football ever since Liverpool’s seven goal Ibrox humiliation of Rangers needs sorting out this summer. They seem to forget the great results Celtic had against Manchester City, Liverpool and Man United. Aberdeen and Hearts have also had good performances against their clubs. Their arrogance is astounding.”

Ending on a cheerier note, Paul McCormack, Coatbridge, said: “What a brilliant golf story we saw with Scotland’s Bob McIntyre winning the Canadian Open, with his self-titled grass cutter dad carrying his bag. It was just the shot in the arm golf needs after all the childish bickering of last couple of years.”